Stellar Restaurant & Bar 11th Annual Group Oscars

By The Group Oscars

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Stellar Restaurant & Bar 11th Annual Group Oscars

Project 2012-03-04 00:07:28 +1300


Put reality aside, forget what you know about personal hygiene and prepare yourself for 6 hours of love, laughter and future litigation, as STELLAR RESTAURANT & BAR presents a welcome addition to the bustling Wanganui social calendar – the 11th Annual Group Oscars! This is where the very fabric of society is threatened, degenerate behaviour is awarded and a snifter of 40 year old scotch is overlooked in favour of a flute of Bernardino.

 

Being held this year at Stellar Restaurant & Bar on Saturday 28th July, the 11th Annual Group Oscars promises to smash everyone’s expectations like a head through a windscreen. With excitement and tensions spilling out into the streets, Women’s Day magazine likened the atmosphere surrounding this years event to “…a cross between the Rwandan and Cambodian genocide”. Taking into consideration their overzealous reporter’s chronic underestimation, the Oscars Committee decided to beat the feet and pick up the word on the street:

 

The Group Oscars is unashamedly a dung heap of my least favourite people who have either blackmailed me by sending incriminating photos to my wife or have framed me for multiple sex crimes. I find them an uninspiring, unoriginal and very provocative group of criminals who spend their every waking moment trying to make my life a misery. That being said, I do have a great time.”

                                                                                                                                                  

 - Matthew Horrocks, ex-pat Kiwi, Oscar recipient & alcoholic.

 

The NZRU’s runner-up for Player of the Year, Wade Coneybeer, also Oscars Director, is tasked with not only bringing this eclectic awards ceremony to a captive Wanganui audience, but also keeping audience casualties to a minimum. After last years disastrous “Is This Grenade Live?” comedy sketch resulted in the death and disfigurement of 30 close friends, Coneybeer has ruled out the use of stolen explosives and illegally purchased NZ Army ordinance. Instead of his usual “shock & awe” approach, Coneybeer has opted for the following:

 

- Raffling off duty free liquor

- A live band

- A stunning awards ceremony with visual effects which make sex look like a church

- Possibly a two-hour cruise on the historic Waimarie paddle steamer.


 

Those exciting highlights aside, rumours were flying thick and fast and hard that the 11th Annual Group Oscars were dangerously close to being cancelled due to a falling-out between the Oscars Director, Wade Coneybeer, and the Oscars Secretary, Nic Miller. Their platonic relationship hit the skids when Coneybeer, a frequently high and renowned practical joker, put Miller’s mother into BayCorp for a quick laugh. 

Unfortunately, this resulted in Miller’s mother losing her home and, in desperation, she took her own life. Not to be out-done, Miller responded in kind by marrying Coneybeer’s mother, repeatedly conducting adulterous affairs and sending explicit pxts to Coneybeer of those same adulterous encounters with short messages attached reading, “Who’s your step-Daddy, who’s your step-Daddy?”

 

Friends of the pair organised an intervention to put an end to the blood-feud and get the threatened ceremony back on track. Knowing Miller and Coneybeer’s avid interest in philatelic amputation or“Stamps on Stumps”, the intervention was held in an abandoned Post Office at Lake Alice Hospital, 40km out of Wanganui:

 

“Getting them into the same room was the easy part. Getting them to sort out their differences? It was like trying to force a donkey to wear crotchless undies, near impossible. It didn’t help that Miller was wearing a t-shirt which had “I will crucify your mother” emblazoned on it. But, after a lot of electro-shock therapy and 2 days of water-boarding, they buried the hatchet and went back to planning this year’s ceremony.”

 

- Jamie Olsen, local stud muffin & torture expert.

 

So the proverbial hatchet was buried, the Crown decided to drop pending kidnap charges against Coneybeer and with Miller freshly divorced & back on the market things were coming up trumps.

 

 

For more information about this exclusive event visit the 11th Annual Oscars Facebook page visit:www.facebook.com/11th.oscars

 

To check out what Stellar Restarant & Bar has to offer visit: http://www.stellarwanganui.co.nz/

 

For tickets contact: [email protected]

 

Highlights of 2011’s Oscars Ceremony can be found at the following links:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOeRGyedWyM

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/set=a.1450964690099.46055.1712727891&type=3&l=d6948d9099


Sponsorship/Donations/Pledges of over $50 will be eligible to sponsor an award, of which they can choose from the list below.

 

List Of Awards: (* denotes a runner-up trophy also)

King & Queen

Best Member *

Hottest Guy *

Hottest Girl *

Lifetime Achievement

Memorable Moment

Memorable Moment

Best Couple *

Best Burnout *

Best Scumbag *

Funniest Moment

Hottest Couple

BFF Award

Nathan Archibald Scholarship*

 

Principle Sponsorship (naming rights) has already been purchased by Stellar Restaurant & Bar located in Wanganui. They have agreed to supply $300 worth of catering, extra security and free hireage of their function room for the 11th Annual Oscars.


Comments

Updates 1

First Pledge!

07/03/2012 at 4:13 AM

Old Trevor huh? What a bloody good cunt!
He drops $100 like it 'aint no thang.

See you at the Oscars motherfucker!

    Pledgers 3

    Donna Ellison
    2012-03-09 14:45:43 +1300
    Scoo Rogers
    2012-03-07 20:23:06 +1300
    Trevor Francis
    2012-03-07 16:17:41 +1300

    Followers

    Followers of Stellar Restaurant & Bar 11th Annual Group Oscars

    Stellar Restaurant & Bar 11th Annual Group Oscars

    Project 2012-03-04 00:07:28 +1300


    Put reality aside, forget what you know about personal hygiene and prepare yourself for 6 hours of love, laughter and future litigation, as STELLAR RESTAURANT & BAR presents a welcome addition to the bustling Wanganui social calendar – the 11th Annual Group Oscars! This is where the very fabric of society is threatened, degenerate behaviour is awarded and a snifter of 40 year old scotch is overlooked in favour of a flute of Bernardino.

     

    Being held this year at Stellar Restaurant & Bar on Saturday 28th July, the 11th Annual Group Oscars promises to smash everyone’s expectations like a head through a windscreen. With excitement and tensions spilling out into the streets, Women’s Day magazine likened the atmosphere surrounding this years event to “…a cross between the Rwandan and Cambodian genocide”. Taking into consideration their overzealous reporter’s chronic underestimation, the Oscars Committee decided to beat the feet and pick up the word on the street:

     

    The Group Oscars is unashamedly a dung heap of my least favourite people who have either blackmailed me by sending incriminating photos to my wife or have framed me for multiple sex crimes. I find them an uninspiring, unoriginal and very provocative group of criminals who spend their every waking moment trying to make my life a misery. That being said, I do have a great time.”

                                                                                                                                                      

     - Matthew Horrocks, ex-pat Kiwi, Oscar recipient & alcoholic.

     

    The NZRU’s runner-up for Player of the Year, Wade Coneybeer, also Oscars Director, is tasked with not only bringing this eclectic awards ceremony to a captive Wanganui audience, but also keeping audience casualties to a minimum. After last years disastrous “Is This Grenade Live?” comedy sketch resulted in the death and disfigurement of 30 close friends, Coneybeer has ruled out the use of stolen explosives and illegally purchased NZ Army ordinance. Instead of his usual “shock & awe” approach, Coneybeer has opted for the following:

     

    - Raffling off duty free liquor

    - A live band

    - A stunning awards ceremony with visual effects which make sex look like a church

    - Possibly a two-hour cruise on the historic Waimarie paddle steamer.


     

    Those exciting highlights aside, rumours were flying thick and fast and hard that the 11th Annual Group Oscars were dangerously close to being cancelled due to a falling-out between the Oscars Director, Wade Coneybeer, and the Oscars Secretary, Nic Miller. Their platonic relationship hit the skids when Coneybeer, a frequently high and renowned practical joker, put Miller’s mother into BayCorp for a quick laugh. 

    Unfortunately, this resulted in Miller’s mother losing her home and, in desperation, she took her own life. Not to be out-done, Miller responded in kind by marrying Coneybeer’s mother, repeatedly conducting adulterous affairs and sending explicit pxts to Coneybeer of those same adulterous encounters with short messages attached reading, “Who’s your step-Daddy, who’s your step-Daddy?”

     

    Friends of the pair organised an intervention to put an end to the blood-feud and get the threatened ceremony back on track. Knowing Miller and Coneybeer’s avid interest in philatelic amputation or“Stamps on Stumps”, the intervention was held in an abandoned Post Office at Lake Alice Hospital, 40km out of Wanganui:

     

    “Getting them into the same room was the easy part. Getting them to sort out their differences? It was like trying to force a donkey to wear crotchless undies, near impossible. It didn’t help that Miller was wearing a t-shirt which had “I will crucify your mother” emblazoned on it. But, after a lot of electro-shock therapy and 2 days of water-boarding, they buried the hatchet and went back to planning this year’s ceremony.”

     

    - Jamie Olsen, local stud muffin & torture expert.

     

    So the proverbial hatchet was buried, the Crown decided to drop pending kidnap charges against Coneybeer and with Miller freshly divorced & back on the market things were coming up trumps.

     

     

    For more information about this exclusive event visit the 11th Annual Oscars Facebook page visit:www.facebook.com/11th.oscars

     

    To check out what Stellar Restarant & Bar has to offer visit: http://www.stellarwanganui.co.nz/

     

    For tickets contact: [email protected]

     

    Highlights of 2011’s Oscars Ceremony can be found at the following links:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOeRGyedWyM

    https://www.facebook.com/media/set/set=a.1450964690099.46055.1712727891&type=3&l=d6948d9099


    Sponsorship/Donations/Pledges of over $50 will be eligible to sponsor an award, of which they can choose from the list below.

     

    List Of Awards: (* denotes a runner-up trophy also)

    King & Queen

    Best Member *

    Hottest Guy *

    Hottest Girl *

    Lifetime Achievement

    Memorable Moment

    Memorable Moment

    Best Couple *

    Best Burnout *

    Best Scumbag *

    Funniest Moment

    Hottest Couple

    BFF Award

    Nathan Archibald Scholarship*

     

    Principle Sponsorship (naming rights) has already been purchased by Stellar Restaurant & Bar located in Wanganui. They have agreed to supply $300 worth of catering, extra security and free hireage of their function room for the 11th Annual Oscars.


    Comments

    First Pledge!

    07/03/2012 at 4:13 AM

    Old Trevor huh? What a bloody good cunt!
    He drops $100 like it 'aint no thang.

    See you at the Oscars motherfucker!
      Donna Ellison
      2012-03-09 14:45:43 +1300
      Scoo Rogers
      2012-03-07 20:23:06 +1300
      Trevor Francis
      2012-03-07 16:17:41 +1300

      Followers of Stellar Restaurant & Bar 11th Annual Group Oscars

      This campaign was unsuccessful and finished on 09/03/2012 at 2:45 PM.